This is a message I have to remember to give myself OFTEN.
I am a people pleaser by nature.
▪️This is a complete positive in that I’m very empathetic to how others are feeling.
▪️This is a positive in that I always want to be of service to others
But this also has a down side. As a result I often end up feeling
▪️OVERWHELMED- like I can’t meet everyone’s expectations of me.
-that people are going to be upset at me over not meeting their expectations (by the way- I also try to go above and beyond so it gets even worse trying to meet peoples unspoken expectations)
-that people will be upset if I set a boundary and say no
▪️UNIMPORTANT- because I care so much about others opinions I end up putting myself last.
How I’ve been trying to flip the script. By asking myself:
💫 “How will this effect ME” – for a long time this felt selfish and sometimes still does, but I’m getting better at narrowing down when I’m doing something for someone else and when I’m doing it for myself
💫”Is this bringing anything positive to my life?” If not, I’m starting to say no more often.
💫”Would this person do the same for me?” And this is the biggest one. I often feel disappointed that others don’t treat me with the same forethought that I give to them. If it’s a favor for someone who would never do it back, I’m definitely starting to say an emphatic “NOPE”
Through doing this, it has made me feel more in control of my time, my thoughts, and my emotions. It has even cut down on me asking myself “what is another person going to think or feel about this?” and has freed me to chase after things that passionate about.
Because this is my nature it’s something that I work on every single day, but I’ve decided that I’m important, too. If you’re like me- you’re important too and putting yourself first ISN’T selfish. It’s the key to a happier, healthier, and more balanced life.